Till I Hold You Again
by MottoVeilopVIII
Summary: Something happened to Al, and Winry can't seem to get it out of him. Did something bad happen to Ed? Will Al be okay? Only some peeks into the past and a little time to tell, but for Al nothing will ever be the same. Read&Review please! Ch 5&6 up!
1. Present: Incomplete

_Present_

There weren't any lights on but with the last bright rays of the sun filling up the small room it was more then enough light. Two beds sat on either wall of the room, one made perfectly and on the other all the blankets were pushed away. Between them was the door to the room that was apprehensively eyeing from across the room a big desk in front of the room's only window.

Alphonse attentively fiddled with the off white envelope as he slid out a seemingly tarnished letter. He dropped the envelope in the center of the desk in front of him which was smothered with letters and books. Carefully he slowly smoothed out its creases and laid the letter on top of it's envelop. He didn't bother to read it and looked out at the rising moon in mid air. A little smile came to his face as he read over the words in his head.

Pushing the letter to the side, he reached back in the envelope and pulled out the old picture. Words he could memorize but the picture he would stare at for hours. The older man's glasses gleamed in the camera's flash; the boy beside him had a giant smirk covering his face and was holding a small girl in his arms. Al flipped over the picture and written on the bottom were the words, 'This was one of our favorites. We'll miss you Alphonse. Come back anytime, you know Elicia would love it. –Gracia.' He smiled and slid the picture back inside, next slowly picking up the letter and folding it considerately before placing it as well.

As he looked back at the desk he couldn't help but groan and shift through a couple more letters. He pushed back some sweaty hair that had been plastered to his brow and picked up the alchemy book lying off to the side. Al was some what amused when he then noticed the harsh criticism that was offensively written all along the sides of the pages.

The wooden door creaked open behind him and his eyes went up from the book. He heard the door slowly close and light footsteps walk up behind him, but by then he knew it was just Winry. "It's time to eat." Her voice was rather dull and the warm air seemed to go cool after she spoke. Al leaned his head back so he could catch her face if possible. She was pale and the dull intensity of her voice matched her eyes. Seeing him lean back however a smile appeared across her face immediately, but Al had already seen it. Something was wrong. He frowned looking back down at the alchemy book.

Winry saw Al fidgeting with a book in his lap and came around to his side kneeling down, "What's that?" His eyes looked to hers and a slight smile came back around his face. Closing the book in his lap he held it up for her to see the front. Al expected her to groan or roll her eyes like she normally did when it came to alchemy, but surprisingly she smiled and took the book from him opening it up to a random page. Her eyes traveled from word to word and the smile on her face showed she recognized the hand the scribbles had come from as well.

Al took the book from her quietly and closed it on the desk. He pushed his chair away from the desk and spun around quickly now facing the door. Winry stood silently and waited for him to talk but he said nothing. He starred at her anxiously trying to figure out what could be bothering her. Finally she took a heavy sigh and sat on the edge of his bed where the sheets had not been mangled, "Alphonse are you okay?"

Al raised his eyebrows in surprise. The thought hadn't occurred to him that he could be troubling her. He placed a hand to his chin thinking carefully about his health and decided he was fine. Smiling he reached over and touched her hand, "I've been doing great, aside from…well you know. I'm still sleeping a lot but the doctors all said that was normal." He paused a moment and looked up as if the thought had just occurred to him, "I _am_ hungry though." Winry's hand tightened into a fist under Al's comforting touch. Her head lowered as her lips pressed together into a frown, "That's not what I mean Al…"

His smile fell faster then rain and he leaned back into his chair sighing heavily. The light left his grey eyes as he looked down at the dark brown floor boards, "So that's what's been bothering you." Winry shook her head and pressed the palms of her fists into her eyes trying not to cry. Pinako had warned her about crying in front of him. But Al only starred at the floor half upset with them all still trying to be careful with him, as if he was still the child he was before.

Winry looked up at him with moist eyes, "You act like nothing happened, yet you barely talk to me! You need help Alphonse! Everyone's just worried about you…I…" She covered her mouth with her hands still trying not to cry. Al looked at the window and took a deep breath. It was astonishing to him still how much a single breath could bring him so much joy he sometimes felt like crying. He smiled and when he spoke it was deep, controlled, and soothing, "Breathing is amazing. Everyone should try it."

Winry looked up as Al slowly began his journey to the door. He glanced back at her with a small and simply smile, "Winry, I have my body back…yet I'm still hollow inside. A part of me is missing and no one is ever going to change that. I'm going to be incomplete the rest of my life, I've faced the facts already. The truth is I'll never be able to cry just enough or to mourn just enough to feel better. So instead, I'm going to live…" Al reached out and pulled open the door. He glanced down the dark hall and frowned, whispering softly while leaving the room, "…the way he wanted me too…"

Winry slid off the bed and let her knees hit the floor with a hard thud. Her heart felt like lead sinking her through the body. There wasn't anything she could do for him, all she could do was watch him everyday and hope he was alright underneath his smile. She looked across the room at the other bed and shook her head again, this time her tears escaping. Her lungs burned and felt hollow as her voice came out in a weak helpless whisper, "Please help me Ed… I don't know what to do?"

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hiyo! if u like it say so! see the button! click the button! u know u want 2! 

and...read the next chapter..and yes there will be a next chapter!


	2. 9 months ago: Train Station

New Chapter! Yea! I would have put it up at once, but u know how computers r.. : ) btw, so far the story is strictly rated T, but if something later on should happen I'll give u a warning. And...4 u funny ppl out there, there are no spoliers so just read and use your intelligence. : )

enjoy!

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_9 months ago_

Alphonse moved very slowly stepping off the train and releasing the metal railing from his giant hand. He glanced up carefully keeping a sharp eye on the energetic boy running off and flawing his arms rapidly through the air. Hearing the hollow repercussions of metal after stepping on the ground he took, what would have been deep sigh if he could have, and looked back up realizing he'd lost sight of his brother, "Uh-oh." He slightly sighed to himself knowing it shouldn't be that hard to keep track of one when your as big he was. But then again in a crowd of adults as big as this and Ed being… well, his brother really wasn't that easy to keep track of anyway. "Argh! That train ride was way too long, am I right Al? Al? What the hell!" Al would have smiled, if he could have, as his brother began cursing loudly about _him_ keeping track of _Al_.

Slowly and politely making his way through the crowd, Al finally caught sight of his older brother rudely making his own way past people and complaining the whole way, "Big brother!" Ed looked up, an enormous grin stretching across his entire face, and he began running toward the big tin. In a quick moment however, a tall man in the crowd held out his arm perfectly close lining Ed as he ran by.

Al was at his brother's side the second he hit the ground, "Brother! Are you alright?" Ed was hunched over groaning and holding both hands closely to his face. The tall man straightened up, brushing off his jacket, "Sorry 'bout 'daht kid! Ya kina small! Hope yer' face ain't too brokin'!" The man turned around laughing as Ed jumped to his feet screaming and waving his arms like a lunatic, "Get back here you ostentatious illiterate ignoramus! Who do you think you're calling the smallest miniature person to ever walk the face of this planet?"

Ed kicked and screamed while his little brother stood holding his arms and apologized to the people starring as they passed by. Eventually Ed stilled heavily breathing and panting, "Too tired…too hungry...to fight…_gah_!" The armor slowly set Ed onto the ground and sigh yet again, "You okay now brother?" Al looked down at the spastic blonde as he carefully touched his red nose and continually cursed profusely, "Dammit! When do people come off being so damn disrespectful! You'd think he could have at least freakin' apologized. Please tell me you're on my side with this one?" Ed turned around quickly, his sharp eyes like cutting knifes, as he crossed his arms and frowned irritably waiting for a reply.

"Well…yes…" Ed raised an eyebrow wondering why his little brother had hesitated at his answer. He began strumming his fingers against his arm, his frown deepening till he resembled a small agitated child. Al put a hand behind his neck suddenly feeling small to the growing wrath of his older brother, "I…mean…he was being rude and all…" Ed groaned, his anger dropping in an instant and Al breathed a heavily sigh of relief. He never liked it when his brother was angry.

Ed picked up the brown suit case he'd dropped and yawned, "Ah…forget it. Let's get moving Al." The two walked from the train station slowly making there way through town. The sun had begun to set taking with it the warmth of the day. Ed had been talking the whole while when he soon realized no one was answering him and stopped. He turned behind to find his little brother standing in the center of bridge they'd just crossed, like a statue while starring straight into the sinking sun.

Somehow even without his human instincts, Al knew his brother had walked up beside him again and was waiting patiently for him. "Al?" His voice was quiet, gentle and concerned, tearing Al's thoughts quickly off the sun but not his gaze. Ed leaned against the railing facing the rising moon that faced his brother's back. The armor echoed, loudly ringing as Al spoke, "It's been five years…" Ed nodded sadly and Al lowered his head as he sensed the guilt that had quickly fallen over his brother smothering him in a deep agony. It was quiet and the blonde lowered his head grounding his teeth together, "Dammit!"

Al suddenly sat down crossing his legs neatly in front of him. Ed glanced up a little surprised as Al only continued to watch the sun, "Ed... what I was thinking about was with everything we've gone through…we haven't learned a thing have we?" Ed shifted his weight shoving his hands in his pockets and glaring at the moon. He opened his mouth to say something and then stopped shaking his head and taking in some thought.

The moon began to reflect the sun's beams and the light lit up the darkening sky. The armor turned to his brother waiting as Ed took his hands out of his pockets and leaned forward covering his face with his hands, "I'm not following you. I thought we'd learned a lot and we were getting somewhere, you make me feel like it's been for nothing." Al shook his head, letting it clang around in its loose socket. It was times like this Ed really wished armor could have facial features to show emotion.

He looked though his fingers at the armor as Al began making circles on the ground with his finger. Ed pushed his hands back through his hair resting his hands of the sides of his forehead and couldn't help but smile a little at his brother's simply gestures. Through the long years his brother had remained a simply child at heart and Ed wouldn't have him any other way. The thought of his little brother growing up almost made him sick to his stomach.

Al circled at the ground nervously while his brother watched over him satisfyingly. Finally in a small voice Al began whispering, "I didn't mean the stone brother…I meant we hadn't learned anything about…well…" Al's voice faded into such a quiet hushed tone bringing Ed to realize this was either something really bad or something Al really didn't want to tell him. Ed shifted closer to his brother and leaned back starring up in the dreary sky, "Well?"

The metal tin looked up meeting his brother's golden gaze, "We messed up big time, we almost lost each other, yet still we keep throwing our lives around. Edward…getting back to normal isn't worth losing you." Ed sat up straighter, the bright light in his eyes suddenly dropping out like a match touching water, "But Al-" Al held up a hand and stuck up his finger in Ed's face silencing him, "Your always saying it's your burden, that you'll do anything…well don't my feeling's count in on what the heck your doing Ed. We've said it countless times; we're all we've got. So don't do anything stupid."

Ed smiled and Al lowered his arm. The boy began to laugh and Al crossed his arms slightly annoyed, "Ed! I wasn't joking!" he whined, quieting his brother slightly. The boy smiled, his eyes glowing brightly now. He jumped up and put a hand on the metal helmet, "Your something else Al… older you get the more your trying to read my mind and lecture me." Al sighed as Ed stood up and stretched out his arms. He knew he'd never get Ed to promise him anything, but at the least he could tell Ed how he felt. And then maybe, just maybe… "Let's get moving Al."

Al nodded and stood up slowly, the metal clanging through the night. Ed picked up his suit case still smiling and laughing thoughtfully to himself. Al watched his brother walk from behind slowly and carefully keeping his soft red eyes on his brother's back as he walked. And just maybe he wouldn't hold his life out on the line so casually. Just maybe he'd think and wouldn't get himself killed.

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most of u know the drill. Thanks 4 your comments! 


	3. Present: Promises

Sorry it tookme so long. Life is so busy! But here's the thrid Chapter, luv u all and thanks 4 reading!

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_Present_

"Hey Alphonse… I'm sorry." Al looked up from the book he'd been reading. He had been resting in the living room since there wasn't much else to do and he was going crazy sitting upstairs for the last couple weeks. Winry held one of her arms glaring at the floor and lurking in the doorway ready to turn and run. "Well that's weird," Al stated smiling and shutting the book.

Winry glanced up more then slightly confused, "What? You know, that's not normally a reply you hear to an apology Al." She placed her hands on her hips as he grinned at her. The touch of animosity she'd built up fell quickly and she groaned. She could keep up a fight with Ed for hours but with Al, no one ever really got upset with Al.

He held up a hand motioning for her to come over and sit with him, "I didn't mean it like that. I meant it was weird that you're so nervous to talk to me." Winry smiled a little and sat beside him on the sofa. It was quiet for a long time and she slowing began swinging her legs over the side.

Al yawned and tossed his book onto the floor letting it leave a low dull thud onto the carpet. Winry jumped slightly and Al only grinned when she glared at him, "What'd you do that for?" He shrugged and the two began laughing. It wasn't so much the sound or the silence but how silly it seemed that they'd been friends so long and acted so distant.

A calming pause took up the space again but when Al shifted to his weight to talk a pain suddenly ripped down his entire leg. His smile faded into a groan as he bent over grasping his knee. Quickly, Winry jumped up and was kneeling in front of him before he could even try to get out that he was fine, "You okay?" He glanced up at her and sighed, "Well…shucks, guess I'm caught." Winry frowned and pulled up his pant leg to the knee. His leg was swollen, red, and shaking in the metal brace.

She looked up at him with knowing eyes, "You know very well your not suppose to walk for three more weeks Alphonse, and even then only from room to room upstairs. Granny would kill you." He smiled covering his legs and carefully trying to turn to lie on the couch. Winry knelt beside him and helped him up.

"I know it's stupid. But I'm sick of feeling so helpless; I want to be able to move on my own again." Winry shoved all the pillows underneath his legs to keep them elevated and smiled while he spoke. His childish whines were just like his brother. Much more politer whines, but nevertheless it was his brother's trait.

She sat on the floor beside the boy and leaned over pushing back his hair, "I'll cut your hair tomorrow. It's getting kinda long." Al only looked up at Winry's hand as if he was confused and she pulled back her hand giggling.

He leaned out and tried to touch his leg again but only pulled back and groaned. Problem was he hadn't used his limbs in five years and the doctors told him it would only take time. How much time, they had no idea. He was much better then he had been of course. They wouldn't release him till he at least had enough arm muscle to operate his wheelchair on his own, and even then his hands were unsteady some times. But all his muscles hadn't been used in so long; it was almost as if he'd never used them before. "Like being born…," he mumbled to himself closing his eyes.

Winry looked up and watched as he frowned with tightly closed eyes in deep thought. She wished like crazy she knew what he was thinking. Leaning over she crossed her arms on the couch and rested her chin in her arms, "Al?" He opened his eyes, which were silently glazed over and looked over at her as if she was an alien. She sighed and gently touched his forehead, "Are you cold?" He smiled and shook his head no.

Al sat up and reached over unexpectedly grabbing her arm as she began fusing at him. Ignoring her vents he pulled her down on the couch behind him and laid his head back down as she then went quiet. Winry smiled and tucked her legs up beside her as Al rested his head back on her knee. "Hey Al?" He looked at her, "Sorry, it's just…Ed…" Winry held her breath and closed her eyes gently placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't even know if it ever really happened, but I have this memory ya see? Of Ed asleep and I'm sleeping with my head on his knee." Winry felt a knot twist in her stomach. It was the first time Al had talked a lot since he got his full voice back. She surprisingly heard him laugh a little and felt him looking up at her, "Sorry, you wanted to ask me something right?"

Alphonse felt a thin layer of guilt surfacing by looking up into her troubled face. He knew he had to talk a little bit more to avoid any topic around that. Pinako never asked questions about that kind of thing. It wasn't that she didn't care; she just knew what was best for the teenagers she'd helped raised. But Winry would ask, and there were some things Al wasn't going to answer no matter how much she begged.

Winry glanced at the carpet, evading his eyes as much as possible and Al knew it couldn't be good. "Well…it's just that…something you said earlier…" He looked up at the ceiling and placed a hand on his stomach, relaxing his muscles. "Oh, that…," he smiled after he said it to and in a breathy tone continued, "Well, what'd I say again?" Winry rolled her eyes knowing he knew damn well what he said earlier. She crossed her arms glaring across the room from him.

Al couldn't help but laugh, and felt a yawn push through him. It was getting late and he didn't know if he'd make it upstairs without crashing. He closed his eyes sleepily as she looked back down at him, "You see Winry I don't expect you to understand my reasoning so I don't feel the need to explain anything to you."

She didn't understand it anyway but by then Al was already asleep. His eyes shut, his lips parted just lightly and his chest slowly rising and falling. Winry wanted to move her leg which was already half asleep and tingling but found it hard knowing she might wake him. Ed always bothered her about waking Al up after he'd fallen asleep, that was something only he could do.

She leaned back against the couch and gave up trying to figure a way out. No matter what Al said she knew he wasn't healed yet, but she'd help. She promised Ed she would after all. And she wasn't about to break any promises.

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Hehe... please review, and keep reading cause next Chapter will be beautiul... i promise... 


	4. 6 months: Leaving Home

Don't know why, but I've been hesitant on putting this Chapter up. My editor, BlizztheSnowQueen, loved it but i'm werid so-forth and so-on. Well here goes nothing...i think i'm ready... meep

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_6 months ago_

Edward was standing on the railing of the upstairs deck with his arms crossed when Winry found him, honestly looking quite gallant for a man in his underwear. She walked up beside him and rested her arms on the railing, "What are you doing?" Silently, Ed dropped down sitting on the rail and pointed out across the fields to where a shiny tin can was lying in the grass starring up at the sky.

She nodded wordlessly and watched with him a moment wondering how he could stand on a rail so long just starring off at his brother like this. Finally he spoke out quietly, "We're leaving tomorrow." She nodded again not really surprised since there'd already stayed four days, which was long considering how busy they were.

The two both watched Al for a while and Winry began to wonder if he was really asleep. Ed watched him closely and half whispered, "If…Al was upset or hurt or something…you'd take care of him…right?" Winry nodded casually. But Ed wasn't really satisfied and moved sideways on the railing, "Promise?"

Winry stood up a little straighter, stretching her arms out and grumbling sarcastically, "If anything happened to either of you guys I'd swim vast oceans, climb deadly cliffs and sell my soul to your evil employer, if it only meant saving you." He glared at her a second trying hard not to throw a snide remark back about how no one in the world could compare with how evil _she_ was. Winry simply glared back at him, "What?"

He shook his head and looked back at his little brother slightly frustrated. Winry groaned and slumped back over the railing, "I promise okay? Gees, you're at his side every moment you breathe, why you asking me?" Ed slouched back a little and closed his eyes smiling.

She shook her head, "Never mind." Crossing her arms she narrowed her eyes watching Al again, and for a moment was almost sure Al moved but only groaned when she realized it was just getting darker. Ed glanced over at her again, and she still starred off unaware he was looking at her. "Hey Winry, ever want to tell someone something, but you don't know if it'll come out the way you want it to sound?" She looked up at him with raised eyebrows, still surprised he wasn't looking away from her but starring right at her.

A smiled came to her face and she closed her eyes sighing, "I know exactly how that feels." He looked away gluing his eyes back onto his brother's form. She watched him as he pulled thoughts together behind his eyes and fidgeted with the side of the rail.

Abruptly she leaned toward him and he turned back to her, "Is it something you want to tell Al?" Ed burst out laughing and swung his legs around facing the house. He controlled his howling and slid off, leaning against the rail smirking over at her. Winry glared a moment at him for laughing like that.

Edward sighed heavily and slowly slid to the ground, "Well, it's hard to explain." She straightened slightly and knelt beside him, and he only turned away when she did. Winry leaned her head to the side a little concerned now, "Ed?" He lifted his right arm and starred at it a long time, making Winry shift uncomfortably. Finally he dropped his hand and looked over meeting her eyes, "It's just that…I'm going to be gone a long time."

She starred at the ground quietly and pulled her legs up close to her as he leaned his head back against the grating. Shrugging she rested her chin between her knees, "You've been gone a long time before." She shivered slightly when she felt his arm come around her shoulder. For a moment she sat dazed and confused. Ed never hugged her, hell, Winry couldn't even remember a time Ed had held Al since there mom's funeral.

"This'll be longer…I ain't making promises." Winry leaned her head on his shoulder still a little shocked. What was he talking about? But memory served its purpose and she realized he meant her parents. They'd promised to come back. It made her think of the last time the boys had still been boys and she'd still felt so young. When ever she was upset or scared Al would put on arm around her and Ed would make up a crazy story or game to play. The three would encircle there real lives in a blanket and lock it away for the day, so they could be free to play with no worries.

She shifted against Ed leaning closer to him, "You're stupid, Al said you guys would always be around." He said nothing and only rubbed her arm in a comforting gesture. When he heard her sniff softly he couldn't help but laugh a little and he tightened his grip leaning his cheek on her head, "Damn it, now I made you cry. Layer on the guilt please…"

Winry broke down and turned around burying her face into his chest. He only smiled and kept his arm around her, placing it on her back firmly. Softly in a deep whisper, more to himself then Winry, he looked up and mumbled into the air, "It's going to be a long time… I'll miss you." She caught herself and turned her head to the side, "Edward…"

Winry's voice was silenced by Ed's arm pulling her closer and his quiet voice, "Shh… don't talk, alright." It was a request and yet still he demanded it of her. Under other circumstances she would have yelled at him, but since he didn't tell her to shut-up she'd let it slide. Till next time, anyway.

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Maw. (holds on frying pan to try and block on coming flames)...told you i was prepared! (hears the distant sound of snapping fingers)...trapped...damn... oh well, you peeps know what to do. Click the shinny button. You know you want to. 


	5. Present: Still Healing

heh heh... cough weez ...ahem... hi, sorry bout that. Chapter 5&6 really roll into one another so i figure i'd post them at the same time. hope it's okay, my editors kinda getting lazy...so i don't have a very good second opinion. but enough of me talking! let's carry on to the little Elric brother and see what's goingon.

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_Present_

Alphonse blinked wondering why he couldn't feel his left arm. He sat up trying to wake up his body realizing he had over rolled on to his arm. The stinging awareness burned and he groaned while stretching it back out. What had woken him up? He couldn't recall a dream if he had had one. Trying to roll over, he recollected the throbbing in his legs. Memory came quickly and he rolled on his stomach. He'd fallen asleep talking to Winry.

Al looked around noticing the itching blanket slipping from his shoulders and the mountain of pillows under his head. The conclusion that came to him was that she must have tucked him in and ran off; which by all accounts seemed odd to him because he distinctly remembered now that his head had been on her knee. He smirked rolling back on his back and placing his arms behind his neck, "She escaped, better then she looks."

A pillow then flew down into his face, sporadically thrashing him, "Al! What do you mean escaped, you twit!" Alphonse could only manage to hold up his arms in defense and laugh at Winry's fuming face. And all it took was a moment for her to hesitate and he slipped a hand under his head grabbing a pillow and throwing it at her. "Al!"

Winry ducked and Al sat up in victory, "Ha!" Soon after of course, another cushion was chucked into his face. When Al looked back up the blonde girl now had her tongue out now and began giggling, "Give up Al, no one can beat me when it comes to a fight. Besides, I'm going out for a while and don't have the time to pound you." The grin on her face told Al that she had something up her sleeve, which slightly scared him. But he only leaned back into the pillows grinning still, "Fine, but otherwise you really know I would win." She rolled her eyes skipping eagerly out of the room.

"Bye Al! I'll see you later!" Before he could answer she was gone and he decided only to shake his head. Slowly he brought himself up to the edge of the couch and grabbed the arm of his wheelchair. It must have passed whatever had been bothering her before; she seemed energized and happy with whatever insane plan she'd come up with. Al smiled pulling the wheelchair in front of him. Sometimes her ideas were crazier then Ed's.

As he pushed himself up comfortably in the chair, he thought back to when sitting up made him tire for days. It had felt like a limp board, the way his body hadn't responded to him at first. But eventually feeling and warmth crept through his finger tips and his vision, thoughts, and movements were as one unit again.

He lowered his arms to the wheels and slowly rolled into the kitchen. Entering, he quickly noticed the old woman by the window looking out with the familiar old pipe between her lips. She turned and smiled squarely at him, "I suppose Winry woke you up?"

Al smiled and shook his head as she pulled the pipe out and blew a light puff of smoke into the air. He rolled over to the fridge and reached in grabbing the milk carton. Sliding a glass across the counter he shrugged loosely, and smirked, "Oh she just beat me up and then went out."

Pinako raised her eyebrows and chuckled softly in a low heavy tone, "Is that so?" She shook her head as she watched the boy pour the white liquid into the glass and only grin back putting the milk away them rolling his chair up to the table. She positioned her pipe back in its place and turned back to the window.

Eyeing the room in hunger, the cake lid caught Al's attention and he reached over the table pulling it closer. He wondered now only to himself how anyone could have lived as long as he had without sugar. At the time, while eating the cake of course, the idea seemed a bit unbelievable.

But he had known worst. When first regaining his body, the hospital had had to force food into him since he had long forgotten the taste of food and it seemed new to him. It repulsed him more then anything and after so long of throwing up everything given to him, his body rejected the sight. Finally an answer was found and for a whole month Al lived off water and baby food.

Al glanced up to see Pinako's gaze on him again and he smiled, "What?" She turned to face him and slowly took steps closer. He swallowed as she came up beside him and took a deep breath into her pipe, "Careful, we don't want you rushing things and thinning back to your state again. The only doctor around here might not be able to help you the way the ones in Central did."

Al nodded as she stepped off walking out of the room. That was Pinako. At least she hadn't lectured him. But compared to how he looked just a couple months ago, he couldn't blame her. The doctor's had warned him about waning back again, and if he wasn't careful to an even more inferior state then before. But he wouldn't let that happen. He promised himself never to become that helpless ever again. Or ever think of regretting his life and body again.

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...to leave a message, (click the button),wait till you here the sound of a beep... or for further information press (next Chapter) 6 for more opinons, thank you... 


	6. 5 months: Hospital

...meep...

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_5 months ago_

Alphonse opened his eyes immediately wishing he hadn't. They still felt to thin, to flimsy, to weird, and much too painful to worry about. He decided to move but had to think exactly which part of him he wanted to move, as if he was a doll and his mind was the person moving him.

Cords seemed to come out from every direction, plugging up every vein or muscle with a sharp and paining needle. His eyes burned as he blinked again desperately wishing he didn't have eyelids, for they continued to tug at the muscles in his face.

He closed his eyes as he painfully pulled his left arm up to touch his stomach but as soon as he did he felt the needle that had in his vein slid up, completely going into his arm.

A weak whine escaped him and Winry, who had been sitting in the corner of the room, jumped up running over beside him. She leaned over him and quickly noticed he had moved his arm and now blood was slowly running out. His eyes were tightly shut, with tears in the corners and a soft whimper coming from his throat.

Gently, she picked up his arm and slowly guided it back to rest beside him. He flinched when she did and her eyes widened as she saw and the needle jammed up into his vein much too far. She pushed his hair away from his brow as his eyes blinked and he opened his mouth to speak but only a low thick moan filled the air where words should have been.

Al's cheeks streamed with tears from pure agony. His chest began to throb from the staggered breath coming out between his cries. The thought of how pitiful he looked made him feel sick. Was this what life was worth?

Winry closed her eyes, not able to watch the small shriveled boy in front of her. Only when through his gasping and sobs and she made out a single word, did she glance back up to him. She held in her breath tightly not wanting her nervousness to show. If it had been easy to give him what he wanted she would have done it without thought, but…

Winry sat beside him and leaned over putting her hand to his shoulder. He looked up at her with lifeless eyes and quickly shut them again. His body was trembling under the sheets as she pulled her arm behind his back. She leaned over, resting her cheek on his head, in a weak attempt to comfort him. But it was all she could think to do.

Al wished he had the energy to reach over and pull out the needle in his arm. He wished he could rip off his eyelids to stop them from burning his face or reach down his throat and scratch where he could feel the back of it itching. Honestly, he wanted to tear every wire plugged up out of him; to actually sit up so he could hug Winry back or to even talk to her for that matter. But more then anything, he wanted his big brother there.

As he slowly wiggled under the sheets Winry held him tighter making him freeze, "You have to stop fighting it Al, otherwise you'll never heal. You could die."

Al rolled his head into Winry's shoulder, "…Don't…care…" She barely made out the thin words and almost froze when she did. There were the softest words, and yet crushed her as if he had screamed them. "What do you…you don't care?" Winry felt herself shaking now and she bit her lip to avoid it from trembling.

It wasn't her fault Ed couldn't hold him right then, and the guilt sloshing in his stomach rose making him fell nauseated. He was suppose to be the strong one now, that's what his brother had told him, and somehow thinking of Ed's voice hovering over him made the pain dissipate. Besides of course that stupid needle piercing through that left arm of his, which was becoming quite unbearable now.

Winry looked up as Al moved in a weak attempt to reach over with his right arm this time, but was stopped from the pain and the cords in his stomach. Winry reached over and gently touched his left arm, "Do you want me to pull it out?"

Al reached up over with his right hand and grabbed onto her wrist. He hoped she understood. There was no way he'd be able to pull it out, and he'd surely go crazy if it didn't come out soon. Even if it really wasn't, he swore he could feel it sliding slowly up further into his arm.

Winry sighed and looked down at him. His eyes were still shut, but he was now turned more toward her, leaning into her. She looked back at the needle, "Alright, but you have to promise to go to sleep and stop moving. The doctors say it's like your organs and limbs have been in hibernation, and there slowly waking up. They also told me, that because your body left you when you were ten, it's catching up with you. Five years ago, right? But you'll be alright… I promise." Her voice slipped on the last note and the tears came.

Al lay motionless; the only thing keeping him from sleep was the burning still in his left arm. He squeezed Winry's wrist as much as he could, which couldn't have been a lot considering things.

The girl looked down and nodded, "Alright." She pinched the edge of the needle and as it slowly slid out Al completely tensed up. She stopped and looked away from him, grabbing a clean material on the side table. Pinching the needle again she slid it out quickly and pressed the cloth on his arm.

As Al leaned his head back and began to relax again and he felt a strange warmness to him, as if someone was on the other side of him. He opened his eyes to try and look, but he was too weak to try to turn to see it. Winry kept her arms close around him and he realized how worried she still must have been. "…uh…sorry..."

Winry nodded her head and smiled, "Sure…just…remember…" She leaned her cheek on his forehead and noticed how quiet he was now. And if her arms had not been around him, where she could feel the thrumming of his working body, she might have thought him to be dead. "Remember that you're like a little brother to me, that I'm always here and…and that I love you."

Al smiled as big as he could without hurting his face. It was like she said, he'd be alright. At least he wanted to believe he would. At this moment it seemed quite impossible but an argument, with Winry, while being this hurt, now that just wasn't smart.

* * *

Of course Ed would have corrected his brother and said an arugment with Winry is **never** smart, (since she'll always try and kill you). And then Al would would say something clever like, "Is that why you always pick a fight with her?" 

lol, anway...tell me what you think: (yeah, ney, it's crap, it's perfect, i hate u, go fish, eat cake, etc) so-forth and so-on...u know what you must do! it's calling u and chanting your name...(your name inserted here) u must review...(your name inserted here) u must review...etc...


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